


If You Hear Me Screaming

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Doomed John - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gamzee can read lips though, Gamzee that is creepy, I don't know what I'm doing, John number 74, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, hahahahaha, oh and he doesn't have a voice, trying to make dead bodies talk with kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 07:49:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things went differently after Gamzee went killer subjugglator, A dead doomed John finds him trying to get information out of his dead body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Hear Me Screaming

The first time John number seventy-four opened his eyes outside of the dream bubbles, he discovered that he wasn't, in fact, hovering over his lone bloody corpse. He was in the same place he had been when he died, blue gray with luminescent blue mushrooms scattered around the clearing, the headless frog statue was in the same place, as were the few leafless trees.

After a few minutes of blinking he became aware of someones voice, it seemed to be alternating between low and raspy to practically yelling. Freezing he looked around to locate it, and in doing so found his corpse.

The corpse was propped against one of the trees, and partially blocked out by a figure bending over the body with it's back to John. The figure, and owner of the voice, was tall, bony and had, yes, gray skin, and two long intimating looking horns curling up from it's scull. John shivered, was it another game construct? He had only ever heard the little yellow bubbly guys talk and that was mostly nonsense. Once he started paying attention to what it was saying this things conversation seemed...... like a different kind of nonsense.

motherfucking.  
HONK.  
bro.  
HOW'S THE MOTHERFUCKING AFTERLIFE TREATING YOU?  
i don't suppose you've seen a little cat girl, or a big harshnasty sweaty motherfucker?  
OVER THERE . . .  
he likes musclebeasts.  
AND SHE CAN KILL BIG MONSTERS WITH HER MOTHERFUCKING KITTY CLAWS.  
most big monsters.  
AT ANY MOTHERFUCKING RATE.  
kid are you even motherfucking there. 

Coming to the conclusion that he was already dead, so _why not_ make himself known to the thing chatting up his dead body? John cautiously floated into the creature's field of vision and gave the thing a small wave and a hopeful grin to get its attention.

HELLO THERE MOTHERFUCKER.

Oh, hey, that had been to him. Yup, the thing was turned towards him now and away from his bloody corpse. Yay! Looking at the thing's face, John realized that if it wasn't for the bared fangs, glowing eyes, scars, wild hair, (and oh god was that the sorry remains of harlequin makeup?! …... eww. just ew.) the thing didn't look much older than himself.

do you mind.  
I'M GETING MY MOTHERFUCKING CONVERSE ON.  
with my bro here.  
 _. . ._

Oooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyyy then, so this guy was apparently crazy. Not that John couldn't have deduced that from what he had already overheard of the one-sided conversation.

AND SO FAR HE HASN'T TOLD ME ANYTHING REMOTELY MOTHERFUCKING USEFUL.

John rolled his eyes, ya no. His body, as useful as it had been in life, wasn't about to get up and start telling the shouty guy stuff. Any communing with the dead would have to happen with the John right here thank you very much! At least he hoped it would. If his dead body started talking John reserved the right to flip his shit. All of the shit would be flipped. All of it.

It was at this point that the troll (well of course we know Gamzee is a troll, try to stay with the program here) proceeded to lean over the prone corpse and give it quite a big smooch on the mouth. One that may or may not have involved tongue.

Before this moment John had never had the need to know that, yes, ghosts could throw up in their mouths. Why was that even a thing? It's not like he had eaten anything since he died, unless ghost imaginary gushers counted.

. . . .  
motherfucker won't fucking talk.  
I NEED A MOTHERFUCKING CAT-GIRL.

uhhhhhhhh..... what?

_ why?  _

Oh, ya. John had known that wouldn't work, it had been part of the deal after all. It was still unnerving to feel your mouth move and your throat work and yet have no sound come out.

and the sweatiest blueblood you have ever laid motherfucking see sponges on.  
i am so done here.  
HAVE YOU BEEN GETTING YOUR SEE ON FOR THEM?  
 _what?_  
i mean motherfucker.  
HAVE YOU ALL UP AND SEEN THEM?

Wait, that had been a response to John's unheard reply?

_ uh, no? _

And that, that was a flash of disappointment. Was John the only one who couldn't hear his own voice? The creepy girl had said he would loss his voice, did she lie or something?

FUCK

This was punctuated with a punch to the tree that John's body was currently leaning against, the result of which was a rather large splinter filled dent in the tree.

so what should i up and be referring to you as?  
MOTHERFUCKER.  
 _oh, uh, i'm john, nice to meet you i guess_  
 _what is your name?_  
 _if creepy things that talk to corpses even have names :/_  
those that are all up and being people do.  
I'M ALL UP AND ACCUSTOM TO BEING CALLED GAMZEE MOTHERFUCKEN MAKARA BRO.  
 _hehehe, that is such a weird name_  
i dunno bro john is all up and seeming like a weird ass name to me motherfucker, even if it's being cute as fuck.  
:o)  
 _uhhhh, what_

Gamzee was staring at John's mouth sort of intently, like if he looked away he might miss something. No, really, he had a little crease between his eyebrows and everything. John hoped the guy wasn't going to try to smooch ether him or the corpse (again). It was kind of starting to give him the heebie jeebies, and the fact that the guy was now practically sitting on the corpse's legs was not helping matters.

_sooooo, I guess you can hear me?_  
nah bro, I can just all up and tell all this righteous whimsy you be sprouting by the way your seed flap all up and moves.

Ok, your sixty-five percent sure you know what he means by that.

_that means you can read my lips right_  
THAT WOULD BE MOTHERFUCKING CORRECT BRO.

That might make the mouth staring a little less creepy, maybe.

The next few minutes were spent in awkward silence as the tall troll seemed to systematically prepare John's body. John turned his back and covered his eyes when the head was removed, only turning around again when he was informed that 'he was all up and motherfucking done with the gross shit' John was surprised to see that instead of being stowed in a sylladex, or you know left alone by the tree like most people that weren't crazy or going to bury him would do, the body was strapped to the taller figure's back using rope and a wooden support shaped like an L, the head was resting comfortably under an arm of the still crouching Gamzee. Gross.

_um . . ._  
 _so do i even want to know what you are planning to do with my body???_  
no.  
 _. . . .  
. . . . . . . . . .  
:(_

It was at this point that Gamzee stood up, and wow, ok the guy was pretty tall, especially with the horns. Kinda pretty thin too, heh, now he's imagining the guy being sat down by Dad and force fed cake. Ok well that thought actually made him pretty sad. Oh gosh he was pretty sure he had been a pretty crappy son, maybe alpha John would do a better job? . . . . Oh jeez, where did the guy go?

John found the guy in question by spinning a circle in confusion, and spotting his retreating back. John reviewed his options, he could follow Gamzee, the guy who had interrogated, kissed, removed the head of, and then finally stolen his dead body. Or he could forget about him and wander around his old land, his old land filled with memories of those last months with his friends. As they fought to find a way to live despite their status as doomed, or completely fucked as both Dave and Rose had put it. He might even run into his alpha self, or one of the alpha versions of his friends.

They wouldn't even be able to hear anything he said.

He hoped that he was somewhat faster than when he was alive, Gamzee was moving pretty quickly.

 


End file.
